THE SCIENCE OF HVRTING

$150.00

CONGRATULATIONS!

 

YOU HAVE BEEN SELECTED TO PARTAKE IN A UNIQUE STUDY BEING CONDUCTED BY THE DIRECTOR IN CONJUNCTION WITH HVRTING LABORATORIES. AS YOU NAVIGATE THROUGH THIS CLINICAL TRIAL, IT IS OUR HOPE THAT YOU WILL NOT ONLY FIND THE INFORMATION HELPFUL BUT ALSO BEGIN TO FEEL AS THOUGH WE ARE FAMILY.

 

I CAN SAY WITHOUT HESITATION THAT THE SPIRIT OF THIS STUDY HAS A FOUNDATION IN EDUCATION, UNDERSTANDING, AND BETTERMENT OF (WO)MANKIND. BORN FROM A SINGLE QUESTION, THIS STUDY HAS CONSUMED ALL WHO HAVE HEARD OF ITS AMBITIOUS PLANS; IT HAS ATTRACTED SUPPORT FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD, MOST NOTABLY DRAWING GENEROUS DONATIONS FROM A MYSTERIOUS LAS VEGAS BENEFACTOR.

 

ITS THIS EXCITEMENT FROM OUR LONGTIME FRIENDS AND PARTNERS, COUPLED WITH THE VISION WE HAVE HAD FOR MANY YEARS THAT HAS ALLOWED THIS STUDY TO BECOME A REALITY. WE HOPE THAT YOU WILL JOIN US SO THAT WE MAY TRAVERSE THIS PATH TOGETHER.

 

WE ARE COMMITTED TO MAKING THIS THE SAFEST AND MOST AWE-INSPRING EXPERIENCE TO DATE. LET ME DISCUSS SOME OF THE DETAILS SO THAT YOU FEEL RIGHT AT HOME.

 

THIS STUDY WILL COMMENCE ON MAY 25TH, 2019. IF THE INTEGRITY OF THE STUDY IS COMPROMISED, THE RESULTS WILL BE INVALIDATED—THUS, IT MUST RUN FOR ONLY ONE DAY AS TO PREVENT THE DOUBLE-BLIND NATURE OF THE STUDY FROM BEING DISRUPTED. FURTHER, GUESTS WILL ENTER AND EXIT ALONE. WE WILL HAVE YOU SIGN AN NDA THE DAY OF, THAT WILL BE LIFTED BY MIDNIGHT THE FOLLOWING DAY. THIS IS STANDARD PROCEDURE AND IS EXPECTED OF ALL GUESTS AND STAFF ALIKE.

 

THE STUDY WILL TAKE TWO FULL HOURS OF YOUR TIME. PLEASE EXPECT TO BE WITH US DURING THE FULL DURATION. WHILE THE EXPERIENCE WILL BE TWO HOURS—YOU WILL SPEND SOME OF THIS TIME IN A WAITING ROOM. BUT DON’T WORRY—THE DIRECTOR AND HIS TALENTED TEAMS OF DOCTORS AND NURSES ARE PROMPT AND COURTESY. YOU WON’T BE WAITING LONG.

 

PLEASE DO NOT CONSUME ANY DRUGS OR ALCOHOL PRIOR TO YOUR TIME WITH US AS IT MAY INTERFERE WITH THE RESULTS OF THE STUDY. FURTHER, IF YOU WEAR GLASSES, PLEASE LET US KNOW—WE NEED TO MAKE SURE YOU CAN SEE EVERYTHING AROUND YOU. FINALLY, WE DO NOT ANTICIPATE ANY MESSES DURING THIS EXPERIENCE, AND ATTIRE IS CASUAL—BUT IT MAY BE SLIGHTLY DAMAGED.

 

WE ARE COMMITTED TO EXCELLENCE AND DELIVERING THE BEST POSSIBLE SOLUTION FOR YOUR NEEDS. WE ARE PROUD TO OFFER OUR UNIQUE BLEND OF A HANDS-ON CLINIC WITH INNOVATIVE AND GROUND-BREAKING TECHNOLOGY. AS WE CONTINUE TO GROW, IT WILL BE MY PERSONAL MISSION TO ENSURE WE BRING THE HVRTING SPIRIT TO YOU.

 

WITH SINCEREST REGARDS AND THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT,


THE DIRECTOR

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